Singles Spaghetti Day: Learning to Love Yourself

A few of my coworkers about two years ago offered to do a mani-pedi and hair makeover at my day job for Valentine’s, seeing I was down. Our manager put the kibosh on that, unfortunately, but I appreciated the gesture. It was a kind effort, since Valentine’s is about making the day special for our significant others

Some of my singles friends have a joke about how to celebrate Valentine’s Day: buy some spaghetti, and call it singles’ spaghetti day.  I’ve upheld the tradition for several years, getting takeout spaghetti or pasta for Valentine’s and eating it with tomato sauce. Some of my friends do the same thing, and I may even write fanfiction.

Romanticism and Reality

I believe in romantic love. But I also believe in not making it the highest priority in life. Before we can learn to find another person that will make us happy and who we can make happy in turn, we also have to celebrate where we are in life. That means celebrating if we haven’t found our Disney prince or princess or nonbinary significant other. I’m working on that part.

To those ordering their singles spaghetti today: it’s better to be safe and single than trapped in a relationship where you aren’t happy. This doesn’t mean that love is work-free. You still have to work towards that happiness. But I’ve seen people trapped in relationships that don’t make them happy.

Most people are complicated human beings. This is why people scare me as a concept. People made the Holocaust happen. And people voted for Trump, who is going to bulldoze a butterfly sanctuary for a wall that has only symbolic value. I know people can do good, like with the Parkland survivors, and with the kindness I’ve seen, but witnessing cruelty makes us wonder how we let it go for so long.

The Power of Pasta

Spaghetti is remarkable. As a kid, it was my favorite dish for lunch, and I’d order it or pasta at any place where we’d go to eat lunch. The irony was at the time I couldn’t eat much, so I’d always leave food on my plate. There’s something about the combination of noodles or shells with tomatoes and cheese.

One spaghetti strand, or spaghetto, is usually never eaten alone. We get spaghetti on a plate or in a bowl, usually with a sauce. A spaghetto is never alone, but finds community with other strands. They manage to find a way to stay together, even on the plate.

I don’t know where I’m going with this symbolism. Maybe it’s that we’re never alone, even if a holiday makes it feel like that. And you aren’t alone.

Going to go now and pick up my spaghetti. I believe in love, and I believe in working for love, but I also believe in celebrating today, and where I am.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone, and happy Singles Spaghetti Day.


1 comment

  1. I say, let’s eradicate this notion of being “lonely” on Valentine’s. It propagates a sad notion that those who aren’t in romantic relationships are not happy. I LOVE spaghetti! It’s the best food in the world! But to be serious, what you said is so important: better not to rush into a romantic partnership than risk being trapped in one that makes you unhappy.

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